Today is May 1st. Ten years ago today marks the beginning of my journey in understanding "Lord, Where are You When Bad Things Happen?" After 5 grueling hours of waiting the surgeon called my family and I into a special room - I later referred to this room as the "Bad News" room. There he told us that are precious, beautiful, godly 20 year old daughter Melissa had ovarian cancer and that it had spread throughout her abdomen to her colon and liver. My other two daughters began to cry. Heather was crying out, "Lord, No, No, don't do this!" She buried her face in my lap and wept. My son ran out of the room, out of the hospital and began punching walls. My husband Mark questioned the doctor. Me? The Holy Spirit just took over. I kept repeating over and over again as I stroked Heather's hair, "All God's ways are good and kind, All God's ways are good and kind, All God's ways are good and kind."
The doctor told me that Melissa would not wake up until about 4 am - I would be the one to tell her. "O Lord, How do I do this, what should I say? How do I tell my precious child the 'bad news?'"
Remember how the book of Habakkuk begins? He is burdened, confused and does not understand the bad things around him. What does God say to him? "Look, ... watch - Be utterly astounded! For I will work a work in your days which you would not believe, though it were told you." Wow! God was about to utterly astound me.
Melissa was an amazing woman of God. She loved the Lord Jesus more than anyone I have ever met. Her intimacy with Him, her radical commitment to live her life for His glory no matter what the cost rocked me. She challenged my own 30 year walk with the Lord to new levels of knowing my God. But this day, God was going to take us higher, closer, deeper than ever before.
Melissa was just coming into consciousness. "Mom, how's Miles? Is he ok? Mom, are you fasting for Miles?" Our pastor, Miles McPherson had gone in for surgery on his throat the same day. Her first thoughts, her first words were not concerns for herself but for another. I assured her he was fine and then she slipped back into a deep sleep. I quietly wept throughout the night crying out to God to help me help my child. "Mom", she whispered, "I'm not ready to hear the news yet but are you ok? How is everyone else with the news?" Again, her thoughts and concerns were for me, her family and her friends, not herself. Back to sleep. I am in awe of her peace - no worry, no fear, only love and concern for others. 4am arrives, "Mom, I'm ready." Again the Holy Spirit took over. Gently, preciously, Melissa asked me a few yes, and no questions. Then, "So I have cancer." "Yes, Honey." She absolutely glowed - She was a beautiful girl - but she was more beautiful than I had ever seen her. Honestly, she glowed. How is that possible to glow when you come to grips with that news? Then, her response, "O Mom, that is so great, God is going to do amazing things!"
That day I saw the glory of God. That day I experienced the reality that Jesus Christ isn't just there when bad things happen - He invades every space. In Ephesians 3:19 Paul prays for us "to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." That means "to be so strong spiritually, so compelled by divine love that one is totally dominated by the Lord with nothing left of self." (John MacArthur Study Bible) Look at the Scripture again and the following 2 verses. "to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen" Ephesians 3:19-21 That day Melissa and Mom experienced being filled with the fullness of God - He took over completely. He filled us with His Word, His will, His perspective, His love, his peace, His gentleness, His kindness, His strength, His beauty and His abundance.
Yes, God did and continues to do amazing things. He is still showing me His exceeding and abundant plan through it all. Yes, there is lots more to the story but I'm going to stop here. My purpose in telling this is to encourage you in your quest to answer the question "Lord, Where are You When Bad Things Happen?"
After reading the entirety of Kay Arthur's book this week and studying the first chapter I was burdened thinking about the conclusions someone might come to. Habakkuk is overwhelmed by "bad news", he is distraught and cries out to God for answers. God answers him with more "bad news." God's plan is to judge man's sin and the evil they have brought upon their nation. Bad things happen when you turn from God. Very bad things happen when you lose God's Word. Very, very bad things happen because God "has to" judge sin. Bad things happen because of God's judgment even if you repent as Josiah did. O, my beloved, my prayer for us is that we read and study the Word always in light of the cross where Jesus died, where he took our deserved punishment, where God's wrath and judgment for our sins was poured out on our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He paid our penalty in full. He experienced God's wrath and judgment on our behalf. It is finished. Jesus said, "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life." John 5:24
The doctor told me that Melissa would not wake up until about 4 am - I would be the one to tell her. "O Lord, How do I do this, what should I say? How do I tell my precious child the 'bad news?'"
Remember how the book of Habakkuk begins? He is burdened, confused and does not understand the bad things around him. What does God say to him? "Look, ... watch - Be utterly astounded! For I will work a work in your days which you would not believe, though it were told you." Wow! God was about to utterly astound me.
Melissa was an amazing woman of God. She loved the Lord Jesus more than anyone I have ever met. Her intimacy with Him, her radical commitment to live her life for His glory no matter what the cost rocked me. She challenged my own 30 year walk with the Lord to new levels of knowing my God. But this day, God was going to take us higher, closer, deeper than ever before.
Melissa was just coming into consciousness. "Mom, how's Miles? Is he ok? Mom, are you fasting for Miles?" Our pastor, Miles McPherson had gone in for surgery on his throat the same day. Her first thoughts, her first words were not concerns for herself but for another. I assured her he was fine and then she slipped back into a deep sleep. I quietly wept throughout the night crying out to God to help me help my child. "Mom", she whispered, "I'm not ready to hear the news yet but are you ok? How is everyone else with the news?" Again, her thoughts and concerns were for me, her family and her friends, not herself. Back to sleep. I am in awe of her peace - no worry, no fear, only love and concern for others. 4am arrives, "Mom, I'm ready." Again the Holy Spirit took over. Gently, preciously, Melissa asked me a few yes, and no questions. Then, "So I have cancer." "Yes, Honey." She absolutely glowed - She was a beautiful girl - but she was more beautiful than I had ever seen her. Honestly, she glowed. How is that possible to glow when you come to grips with that news? Then, her response, "O Mom, that is so great, God is going to do amazing things!"
That day I saw the glory of God. That day I experienced the reality that Jesus Christ isn't just there when bad things happen - He invades every space. In Ephesians 3:19 Paul prays for us "to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." That means "to be so strong spiritually, so compelled by divine love that one is totally dominated by the Lord with nothing left of self." (John MacArthur Study Bible) Look at the Scripture again and the following 2 verses. "to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen" Ephesians 3:19-21 That day Melissa and Mom experienced being filled with the fullness of God - He took over completely. He filled us with His Word, His will, His perspective, His love, his peace, His gentleness, His kindness, His strength, His beauty and His abundance.
Yes, God did and continues to do amazing things. He is still showing me His exceeding and abundant plan through it all. Yes, there is lots more to the story but I'm going to stop here. My purpose in telling this is to encourage you in your quest to answer the question "Lord, Where are You When Bad Things Happen?"
After reading the entirety of Kay Arthur's book this week and studying the first chapter I was burdened thinking about the conclusions someone might come to. Habakkuk is overwhelmed by "bad news", he is distraught and cries out to God for answers. God answers him with more "bad news." God's plan is to judge man's sin and the evil they have brought upon their nation. Bad things happen when you turn from God. Very bad things happen when you lose God's Word. Very, very bad things happen because God "has to" judge sin. Bad things happen because of God's judgment even if you repent as Josiah did. O, my beloved, my prayer for us is that we read and study the Word always in light of the cross where Jesus died, where he took our deserved punishment, where God's wrath and judgment for our sins was poured out on our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He paid our penalty in full. He experienced God's wrath and judgment on our behalf. It is finished. Jesus said, "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life." John 5:24
Isaiah 61 tells us that Jesus came to "heal the broken hearted", he came to "comfort all who mourn - to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."
I pray that you are assured of Christ's presence and that you will experience His comfort and His great love for you. Just as Habakkuk had questions of "Why?" and "How Long?" I'm sure you have some tough questions to ask the Lord. ASK. Over the next few weeks we will seek Him and He will answer us and I know He will "utterly astound " us.
I'm praying also "that you will know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen"
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